Be yourself!

Because no matter how hard you try,
you will never be Marie Forleo.

So true story…

At my first ever business networking event – after introducing myself as Cat Townsend from Not Pretty (my then business name) – a sincere older lady patted me gently on the shoulder and with a compassionate look told me:

“You could be pretty… with the right clothes… and hairstyle.”

The person beside me near pissed herself laughing, and I seemingly took it in my stride. But deep down it cemented the belief…

I need to be someone else, if I am going to make it in business.

Boy, was that a damaging belief!

I spent the next three years feeling completely uncomfortable and out of sync with the business I was building and the clients I was working for.

I signed up for course after course… trying to learn how other people ran their business. And filling my vocabulary with jargon and other nonsense that I thought would impress my clients.

I attended event after event studying how other business owners dressed, talked and acted; and did a horrible job of copying them.

Following the crowd worked to a degree. I secured clients, but it was dreadful on so many levels.

I hated myself. And I hated the work I was doing.

Which kind of defeats the purpose of working for yourself. If I was going to hate my work, I may as well go back to having a day job.

It was at this point in time when I was mulling a return to dreaded 9-5, that I stumbled across a group of trendsetters. People like Marie Forleo, Danielle Laporte, Ash Ambirge and Natalie Sisson.


These ladies had built highly successful online businesses just by being themselves. They worked when they wanted to and where they wanted to. They swore, they laughed, they wore jeans or kaftans or whatever the hell they liked… without apology!

I had found some better role models.

I’m ashamed to say my first thoughts were “I want to be like them” and  “how do I copy this” in my own business? And for a while I joined the the millions of hopeful business owners out there devouring and religiously applying their every word.

But it didn’t take me long to realise the flaw in this approach…

The very thing that made these people so successful – so lovable! – is that they were all so decidedly different. And themselves.

And the very thing that made the ‘groupies’ so unsuccessful is that they were spending their time trying to be someone else, instead of applying their energies to being the best version of themselves they can be.

So back to the drawing board…

Maybe the problem was thinking I needed a role model?

I was still intrigued by these people. But I realised that what I needed to model was less about their actions and more about their approach.

They knew who they were. And although they were open to learning new things, their business decisions were ultimately based upon what they enjoyed or felt was right.

So what I needed to do was:

  • get very clear on who I was,

  • stay open to learning and growth,

  • but ultimately base my decisions upon what I enjoy and feel is right.

Wow. How obvious!

But sometimes it’s the stuff we think we know, that we don’t actually do.

These days I am incredibly clear about who I am.

I know what I do, what I care about, how I talk and who I want to talk to. I know what my mission is, and what my values are. I know exactly how those things need to show up in my marketing or when I’m working one-on-one with a client. I know what things I can be flexible about and which things are non-negotiable for me.

I am also clear about who I am not.

I realised that staying clear about who you are, also requires being very clear about what you are not. So I got clear about what I don’t know. And what I DON’T WANT to know.

I am no longer obsessed with having to learn the ins and outs of everything and keeping up the pretense that I am an expert in ‘everything’. Because the truth is that I am obviously not.

What I do have to back that up is curiosity, and a kick arse network of people who are experts in their thing. And those two things are very liberating. I’m either interested in something and go find out more. Or I defer to someone who has more interest or knowledge than me. Either way, there is no pretend.

There is definitely no worrying about someone else’s “ultimate formula for building a 6 figure Instagram business” – or whatever the hell the latest Facebook ad in my newsfeed is selling.

Knowing all this has made me “not the right person” to help a lot of people. And sometimes it feels like I turn down a lot more work that I take on. But that’s okay with me. Because me pretending to be someone else doesn’t help them or me.

But equally it’s made me “right person” to help a lot of other people. Because what you see is what you get. And if I say I can help you, then I really can.

So who are you?

What do you care about? How do you speak and act? Are these things visible in your business? Or do you sometimes find yourself trying to be someone you are not?

Cat Townsend

Cat Townsend

Brand Strategy & Design

With a background in branding and information design, Cat setup The FeelGoodAgency, to help passionate solopreneurs to understand their brand and how to wield it effectively. Oh, and to make the world a better place. It always comes back to changing the world!


  1. Paul Kelly

    Hi Cat. Your story resonates with me incredibly. The difference is I am still trying to define who and what I am and what it is I really want achieve. What I do know however is that I want to make the world a better, healthier more caring place to live but not just for those and such as those who can afford it. I suppose that’s as good a starting point as any eh? Excellent! I’m already defining my mission. Now to get it done. Eek! Lol :-))

    • CatTownsend

      That is definitely not a bad starting point! At least you’ve got an outcome, and I bet you know more about how you are going to do that than you’ve let on here.

      I’ve just drafted another blog post about creating your mission statement, which will be up on this site next week.

      (So either check back, or leave your email in the signup box above if you are interested in reading it.)

      But by way of preview – one thing that worked for me was to simply write my vague and overly verbose mission onto a piece of paper and stick it on the wall. Every morning (and sometimes in the middle of the day and night!) I’d go back and reread / rewrite / reshape it.

      Each time it got a little clearer. A little more right. A little more worth a happy dance!

      These days I know my missions (I actually have personal and professional mission statements) by heart, and recite them in the shower in the morning.

      But I don’t think they are ever finished, because I am never finished. Now and again I’ll get a bit more clarity on something and change a word here or there, to get them even more defined.

      Good luck with your mission! (pun intended)

  2. Amy

    I absolutely love this! I’m having a ‘second chance’ at starting my business as I have moved to Australia and basically starting a fresh. Its tough starting out again but I am so intent on being me this time round and enjoying it!

    • CatTownsend

      Thanks for the feedback Amy. I personally think ‘enjoyment’ is a huge factor in the success of a business.

      It may not be something customers tangibly measure, but they will shy away from fear or stress and warm to confidence and happiness.

      So best of luck with your new endevour in Australia. Sounds like some exciting changes all around!


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